Marriage, they say, is made in heaven. But it does take a little bit of earthly effort to ensure happiness for you both. A little preparation goes a long way in ensuring this happiness.

Getting married is an exciting thing – it offers you the promise of a brighter tomorrow with a person that you care about. However, marriage does mean a certain amount of change – changes in the way you take decisions, changes in the way you run your house, and even in the way you spend your free time. And change is not necessarily a bad thing, especially if you are prepared for it.

So think ahead and discuss how marriage might change your lives. Communication is key – talk to your partner; understand some of their expectations when it comes to envisioning your life together.

The nitty-gritties of life
Being married and living with your partner is quite different from sharing space with your family or room-mates. The way you manage the house or do certain things for your home is probably the way that you saw your parents doing things. Similarly your partner may also have certain expectations.

While it can seem boring as compared to the excitement of planning your wedding and honeymoon, it is important you put aside some time to talk about day-to-day issues: What are some of the routines you both are used to? Where would you live? Who would do grocery shopping and run errands? The more you discuss it, the easier it will be to build a life together.

From “Me” to “Us”
Whether it is about changing your spending habits, thinking about someone else’s well-being or simply considering someone else’s opinion, the transition from thinking about ‘me’ to thinking about ‘us’ does take a little time, however preparing yourself for change makes it easier.

That applies to fun activities as well. While it is important to have your own interests and hobbies, having shared ones with your partner can make the relationship closer and develope intimacy between the two of you. So keep those dates going, find activities which both of you enjoy, or even learn somethign new.

Values and important decisions
A difference in values is often the greatest cause of conflict in marriage. Be aware of your values and the belief systems they are based upon; dialogue with your partner encouraging them to share theirs. For example continuing work after marriage, your finances, supporting parents and having children.

The headiness of being in love can make one believe this preparation is unnecessary but the fact that you are reading this article shows you are already on the path to building a lasting marriage.

If you are feeling a little apprehensive about marriage or would like more personalised preparation, you can work further with our trained and experienced counsellors.