Our friends, colleagues and team members at work are as important as the kind of work we do. Dealing with difficult behaviour at the workplace can cause strain, conflicts and may affect productivity as well. It is more common than people would like to believe.

Some ways in which this can be seen at work:

• when colleagues make unpleasant comments, personal remarks, highly critical, individually and in group settings
• taking credit for another person’s work
• excluding someone from meetings, updates, activities and conversation involving work
• blaming a colleague for one’s own mistakes
• using derogatory, insulting words used in the guise of feedback that affect self-confidence
• repeatedly ignoring and not responding to work related emails/queries/calls/messages with no explanation
• lying or spreading rumors amongst colleagues
• reacting aggressively, passive-aggressively or saying it is a joke if the behavior is brought to their attention.

Being subjected to any of these behaviours can have an effect on performance, self-esteem and the general work environment. We may stop enjoying work and wait for the weekends when we are away from workplace. We may not even unwind fully when we realize we have to be back on Monday. Often, people may try to ignore it, are scared to do anything about it or not know how to handle the entire situation. As overwhelming as it can be, there are some options of a way forward:

• Draw boundaries: Remember that the person’s unprofessional behavior may be more about them and has less to do with you. Emotionally try not to absorb their words and actions. You may not be able to completely ignore someone at work, however try and limit your interactions with them. Schedule specific times in the day or week you may have to interact with the person, so you can allow yourself to feel relief when you are not interacting with them. You could choose to interact over email or messages for communicating if it becomes easier.
• Assertive communication: It is tough to do but address the distressing behavior with the person concerned in a professional manner. Stating facts and the effect it is has on you may help reduce or prevent the undesired behavior. Preparing what you would like to say beforehand could help you choose your words and be more in control of the conversation.
• Identify and shift focus to workplace relationships that are going well:  Spend more time with colleagues that you work well with or interactions you enjoy. Research shows that there may be some people in our work environment that are actively against us, however there may be few who support us or many more who are neutral to us, and we can tap into those professional relationships.
• Seek support: While you may not want gossip or add fuel to a fire, speaking to someone you can trust and confide in whether friends or family can provide you with emotional support.
• Documentation: Make sure you keep a record of the messages, interactions and other communication that involves unprofessional behaviour including the date and time and the nature of incidents. If there are colleagues who witnessed it, it will help to note their names too. You can speak to a superior or HR personnel and present the information you have documented.
• Self-care: The emotional upheaval can be a struggle. It helps to reach out to loved ones and spend time building enjoyable experiences outside of work. Intentional time for interests and hobbies can boost your confidence and change the tone of your day. Treat yourself with compassion, you might feel disheartened and doubt your abilities but be kind to yourself and take the support you need.
• Professional help: Talking to a trained professional can help look at ways to cope with the situation and discuss options without the worry of burdening someone with your problems that might be otherwise difficult to bring up.