A lot of parents are generally aware that as a daughter reaches puberty, they need to prepare her for the changes that she may go through. You recognize the need to talk to her, but you are not sure when this must be done, or how much information you need to share. You don’t want to frighten her but at the same time she needs to be prepared. If she suddenly gets her periods, it should not be a traumatic experience for her.

Most girls start puberty between the ages of 8 and 13, and it usually ends when their body has reached its adult height and size, around ages 15 to 17. A good time to talk to your daughter would perhaps be before she reaches age 9.

Have this age-appropriate conversation with your daughter when you both are relaxed and free to have a long chat. While the message you are conveying is very important and necessary, it can be done through a casual conversation rather than a lecture. Remember, it could be a struggle for your daughter to ask questions that are too personal or she could be dying of embarrassment and digging for the right words to use.

Script for the conversation:

You are growing taller and bigger and soon there can be many different changes that your body goes through. Your hips and breasts will develop. You may notice hair growth under your arms and on your legs, and your periods will start. Don’t worry, this is all very normal. It happens to all women because the body is growing and getting ready for when they may have a baby.

The area below your belly button will undergo some pretty big changes. You will notice new hair in places that were once smooth. At first, it looks straight, kind of like the hair on your arms or legs. Eventually it changes to coarse more curly hair.

Your uterus or womb, is where a baby grows and develops. Your vagina is actually a canal that leads from the uterus and is roughly about 5 inches long. When there is no fetus in the uterus, there is a lining that is shed every month through this canal. This is your period.

When you first get it, it may stain your underwear and look bright red, rusty red or dark brown. This is menstrual blood. Don’t panic or worry when that happens. Wipe yourself as well as you can. If you haven’t got a pad or sanitary napkin, fold up a wad of toilet paper, tissues, or paper towels to put into your underwear. You can call me, or if you are at school, any teacher you trust.  You can say, “I think I just got my period. Do you have something I can use?” Remember, getting your period is normal, it might sometimes get embarrassing but its normal. The older person will probably be glad to help.

It may seem like a lot of blood but it’s actually not much. Its about 3 table spoons in all. Your period may last for 2 to 8 days. Some girls get their menstrual period every 25 days. Other girls get them up to 40 days apart. In the beginning it may not be very predictable and that’s completely normal. After a while your period will get more regular.  Keep a supply of pads in your bag so you are always prepared. I can help you with the type of pads to buy, how to use them and also how to discard them.

 At first, it can be tricky to predict when your periods will arrive. You can use a calendar to keep track of when they start and end. After a while, your cycle should become regular enough for you to be able to figure out when to expect your period.

Once your period starts coming regularly, you may notice some patterns in how you feel right before your period. A week or two before your period, your breasts may feel swollen or more tender than usual. You may also notice that your body feels heavier, even puffy, and that your skin is more prone to breakouts. All of these symptoms will go away after your period begins. Sometimes these changes are referred to as premenstrual syndrome, or PMS for short. It’s not a disease or an illness, just a natural part of your menstrual cycle. The symptoms you feel can be a clue to when your period is coming, so you will want to pay attention to them.

You may also feel cramps in your lower abdomen or back before and during your period. The cramps happen because the muscles of the uterus are hard at work. The best remedies for this are fairly simple: eat right, exercise, have a warm bath or use a hot water bottle to soothe the cramps. Those who take an active part in sports are able to manage this without much discomfort. If the pain is intense, medication can be used, but it needs to be recommended by the doctor.

Your periods can also affect your moods. Some girls feel tired, irritated, grouchy and sometimes it could feel quite intense, but try to not to unleash your frustration on all of us at home. Tell us how you feel so we can recognise why you are feeling this way and look at ways to help you.

Sometimes it’s not just blood but other discharge. You may notice a sticky liquid in your underwear. This is called vaginal discharge, and it is totally normal. It is coming from your vagina, it’s usually clear or whitish, and has very little smell. Your vagina makes this to keep itself clean. If the discharge has a different colour or a strong smell, or if you feel it is swollen or itchy this can be the sign of an infection and it is important you inform me so we can see what to do about it.

You will probably start to notice changes in your breasts between and now and age 12, although some girls start earlier or later. There is no way to predict how big your breasts can get and don’t worry if you notice they are not the same size, that’s normal. You may wonder what kind of a bra you should wear and when. Choosing the size and the right kind of bra is something I can help you with.

Your body will grow and change exactly as it should be, but sometimes you may feel differently. You may wonder if something is normal or not, you may be concerned if things are going the way they should be. You might worry about putting on weight or about how your body looks. Try not to worry about this much and come talk to me if it does. All of this is very normal, your body is changing and growing and it is all part of the process of becoming a woman.