The beginning of a relationship is often the most exciting (and anxiety provoking!) part of the relationship.  A near constant feeling of ‘butterflies in the stomach’, continuously thinking about the person you are newly dating, wanting to meet them or talk to them or text them… these tend to be ‘symptoms’ of new coupledom!

What comes along with this excitement is the tendency to run ahead without looking… or thinking!

However, in the beginning, do keep in mind that you are still getting to know them. Here are some things to avoid when you starting out in a new relationship:

• Rushing towards commitment. Wanting to know everything about them, professing love for each other and discussing marriage too soon is not a good idea. Take your time to get to know the person, and let these things develop naturally.
   
• Oversharing. We might sometimes say a lot about ourselves, our life experiences, difficulties etc. in order to increase feelings of intimacy. Try to let the relationship deepen at its own pace, there’s time enough to share your deeper secrets and experiences later.
   
• Those rose-coloured glasses! Be aware that if you are only seeing the positive side to them, then there is more to them than that. All of us have faults, and things that upset or anger us and cause us to react. While it is natural to put one’s best foot forward at the start of a relationship, not having any ‘bad’ side is not a good sign either!
   
• Ignoring values that don’t match. Try not to ignore any major differences in values that you hold dear. Contrary to the saying – opposites do not attract, and definitely not when it comes to things that matter deeply to us.
   
• Having your world revolve around them. Keep up with the other things in your life – study/work, family, friends, hobbies – and don’t dedicate all of your time to the other person (or thinking about them).
   
• Red flags. Watch out for warning signs, no matter how infatuated you might feel. How the person reacts to difficult situations, conflicts, your vulnerabilities and your loved ones can indicate a lot about future areas of conflict.

Once these early stages pass, we move on to the next stages of the relationship, which are characterized by getting to know the person more deeply, faults and all, and loving them – or breaking up.

Keep an eye out, avoid the things mentioned above, and enjoy the beginning of the relationship, butterflies and all! And if you need any help, do get in touch with a professional counsellor for a personalised, confidential discussion.